From the same twisted mind that brought you the Evil Heidi Experiment comes a brand new project about conquering the Internet...welcome to the Liz Brooks Project.
Liz Brooks is everybody's favorite Tour Brand Licensing Manager extraordinaire, especially if you happen to be in a band called Antigone Rising hang out at HAP Consulting. Everybody likes to hang out with Liz Brooks and everybody gets to hang out with Liz Brooks because Liz Brooks has mastered the fine art of cloning and being everywhere at once. Well, almost everywhere at once...EXCEPT on the Internet. On this "world wide web", Liz Brooks is an English lass with a penchant for referring to herself in the third person that happens to have the London tele digits (07770) 8 98765. Liz Brooks is #14, a defender on the Southern Utah intercollegiate soccer team. Liz Brooks is the Executive Director of the Dyslexia Institute. Liz Brooks is the vice president of Buymusic.com. Liz Brooks is many things at many places on the net, but Liz Brooks is not the lovable, water Momiji-carrying Tour Brand Licensing Manager of Antigone Rising HAP Consulting...well not until page 3 of Google results anyway. Enter The Liz Brooks Project.
Liz Brooks is many things at many places
The Liz Brooks Project is here to dethrone the reigning Liz Brooks from the cushy #1 seat on Google™ when you enter the search term "Liz Brooks" and replace her with the rightful ruler--the lovable, water Momiji-carrying Tour Brand Licensing Manager of Antigone Rising HAP Consulting. The Liz Brooks Project also exists because a certain somebody (1) happens to be on winter break right now with no school projects to entertain (2) has killed Evil Heidi and (3) is serving a community service sentence for being a crackhead.
There are many ways to search for Liz Brooks the web, but The Liz Brooks Project is only concerned with how Google™ searches for Liz Brooks. According to their site, "Google's complex, automated methods make human tampering with our results extremely difficult" because Google™ uses a very sophisticated computer generated PageRank algorithm, which is Latin for "we don't know how it works either". However, there are two factors that generally applies to all search engine indexing schemes, external linking and number of hits. Oh yes, abuse these two factors we shall!
EXTERNAL LINKS
If you have a website, be sure to give Liz Brooks some love and place a link to The Liz Brooks Project at http://www.jotsai.com/AR/lizbrooks. The more random the placement of this Liz Brooks Project link, the better. Randomness is a virtue. Apparently Google takes into consideration the text of the actual link when it weighs the scores. So if you have something like Liz Brooks Liz Brooks Liz Brooks Liz Brooks Liz Brooks, that scores points because "Liz Brooks" is used in the link. To be fancy, you can even add the Official Liz Brooks Project Logo. To make it easier, here's the code:
<a href="http://www.jotsai.com/AR/lizbrooks" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.jotsai.com/AR/lizbrooks/lizbrookslogosm.gif" alt="Liz Brooks Project" /></a>
PAGE HITS
For those of you not web saavy enough to have a website, or perhaps just knew better than to enter the cross browser hell of webdesign, you can still support The Liz Brooks Project. As a representative of one who hangs out with Liz Brooks, you will be part of the army whose job is to subconsciously click everytime you see this logo:
Seksi, isn't it? It's not teal though. Liz Brooks does not approve of teal (write that down).
When you're slacking off at work, click. You're on your lunch break snacking on Cheetos, click. Click, you slackers, click! Click like you've never clicked before! Deep down, you all know you're a bunch of click-ey bastards anyway. Teeheee.
Liz Brooks loves animals...maybe a little too much
It is important to get it right when hanging out with Liz Brooks. For instance, "I hung out at Liz Brooks's Apartment" is not the same as "I hang out with Liz Brooks". Close enough just won't cut it. If Liz Brooks is not there to hang with, it can lead to unexpected negative consequences, which can be most regrettable when you don't want to be schlepping in and out of the city. Always make sure you hang out with Liz Brooks correctly, even on the Internet.
"I hung out at Liz Brooks's Apartment" is NOT the same as "I hang out with Liz Brooks"
I Hang Out with the Liz Brooks Project
"We don't work on Wed" so we can hang out with Liz Brooks
Kermit hangs out with Liz Brooks
Red Sox fan Robyn hangs out Liz Brooks
Liz Brooks should stick to carrying water
I hang out with Liz Brooks, even though she wears a Red Sox hat.
Liz Brooks clones in training, Lizfest 2004
I hung out with Liz Brooks as a little person
Everyone wants to hang out with Liz Brooks as little people too
Liz Brooks is the keeper of the merch table brand licensing magic. It is only fitting that the Liz Brooks Project has some Liz Brooks merch. I agree, and so does Rainee. She offers the following Liz Brooks collectibles:
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Liz Brooks Cap |
Liz Brooks Lunch Box |
Liz Brooks Tshirt |
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Hey Liz, where's my water? Tshirt |
Honk if you love Liz Brooks License Plate Frame |
We had to make real Liz Brooks Project lunchboxes due to popular demand because people didn't quite get the concept of Photoshop.
(regarding haircuts...)
AR fan: i gotta get my do done
AR fan: mayhbe i'll look like Liz tonight, lol
AR fan: "can you give me a liz brooks cut"
AR fan: LOL
crackhead: lol
AR fan: and she'll be all "who?"
crackhead: and you say
AR fan: and then I can tell her to google Liz
crackhead: "google liz brooks biotch"
(regarding random German guys...)
crackhead: ahh...the light blue has resurfaced
Chuck: yeah-- speaking of which.. did you post that pic with my friends having their blue shirts "surgically altered"?
crackhead: yea i replaced it :)
Chuck: cool-- would you believe that the shorter one stumbled onto that himself by doing a google search for Liz Brooks?
Liz Brooks is a muppet